It was the longest day of the year yesterday. How crazy is that?!
I don't know about you but the summer nights just make me want to be in the outdoors and enjoy nature.
As you know, I've been absolutely rubbish on the email front lately. I've been too busy with my head down the toilet or lay on the sofa. However, it's time to try and get some routine back.
What I wanted to talk to you about today is something that I'm kind of battling at the minute....the guilt of slowing down. Being pregnant, I've kind of had no choice with hyperemiesis kicking in.
Do you ever find that when you stop, you feel you should be doing something? Or if you miss class, you feel guilty? It's that feeling that you should always be on the go or you're not doing your best. It's particularly worse if you're quite a driven person.
I've certainly been feeling this way for the last few weeks. At the start of the year, when Max was 11 months old, I started to get some routine back for myself. I committed to 3 training sessions per week, started teaching a Tuesday night Bootcamp and a Wednesday Glow Fit, got my 2 office days locked in, finished my Life Coaching certification and had lots of plans with it. I started to feel really good in myself and like life was in full flow again. As you know, those of you who have got children, having them is the best thing in the world but your whole world gets turned upside down for a while.
In March, I fell pregnant again. This was amazing news for our family but life suddenly feels out of flow again. I've had to stop all my teaching commitments for the moment, do bits in the office when I can and my own exercise has flown out of the window. I have had no choice but to hit the pause button because my body just finds it exhausting being pregnant, especially being sick all the time. For the first few weeks, I did nothing but cry every day because I couldn't see me getting through the sick days. The worst part was not being able to look after Max. The guilt was killing me, plus the guilt that Jamie and our parents had to do so much more. I knew I also had loads of commitments such as a 3 Hour Glow event and a speaking event with 80 ladies. Eek! Thankfully the sickness is easing a lot compared to what it was but the biggest thing I need to focus on during pregnancy is keeping myself mentally positive. Plus I realise how lucky I am to be growing a human.
So many ladies tell me that they are Heatone members because it takes care of their overall wellbeing...mental, physical and emotional. Being around such positive ladies lifts and empowers them, the endorphins lift them mentally and they love the physical effects on their body too. I totally find this too and when I don't have this, I absolutely struggle.
Why am I telling you this?
Sometimes we all have to just press pause and slow down....without guilt.
Life is so fast paced and it's the norm for most if us to be at a million miles per hour. In fact, most of us thrive off it. I certainly do...I love being busy and feeling like I have purpose.
If you feel like you're in full flow of right now, brilliant. Keep up the good work :-)))
If you're struggling, lift the pressure off yourself and take a look round at what's in your control and put every bit of your focus into that being positive.
The stuff you can't control can wait for now. If you need time to slow down, take it.
It feels very alien to us as women to put ourselves first and just 'be.' However, as the saying goes, you can't pour from an empty cup. But why should we allow the cup to be empty before we hit the pause button?
I started back with my mindset coach again this week. A big shift for me on the call was that my focus of purpose and fulfilment needs to move now to my family as opposed to my work, which it's been for many years. When I feel up to it again, my energy will go between the two but right now, if i carry on beating myself up with the guilt of not feeling enough with my work, it doesn't help my frame of mind. Plus, family is something that is so important.
Working on a positive frame of mind is something most of us continually have to work on. It's exactly like the way we work on our body....if we don't exercise, our body and mind start to feel the effects. If you neglect your mental wellbeing, your mind and your body will feel it.
So this email is just a gentle reminder to look after your 'overall' self today. I'm sure most of you are but I do see and speak to lots of ladies who are fighting this battle inside. Just want you to know that I get it and that we all go through different ebs and flows of life, where life can be crazy and all of a sudden it can be slow.
Just remember how amazing you are and take one step at a time. Then recognise those steps and give yourself a huge pat on the back each time.
Have a great weekend.
Ellen Murray: spreading hope, self-belief and empowerment to real women.