Anonymous Bootcamper: It's the beginning of September and that means one thing....the kids are back at school! I love my little Darlings with all of my heart but boy do they drive me crazy! What with having to daily apologise to the neighbours for footballs being constantly being kicked over the garden fence and refereeing fights over who has the most hundreds and thousands on their sickly and illuminous frozen desserts.....I've only just kitted them out for school as I inadvertently left buying their uniforms to the last minute. I'm a 'fly by the seat of my pants' girl at times but said pants are getting tighter. Yes, school was out for summer, along with my clean eating and resolve apparently. Incidentally, have you ever tried to count 'hundreds and thousands'?
My inner monologue was blue every time I lost count. Considering I was so lackadaisical with the school uniforms, I'm way ahead of the game with my outfit for our Christmas Party. Please forgive me, I'm a Mother, I don't get out much.
My secret purchase wasn't a secret for long as it arrived at the same time as hubby for his lunch. The previous post man we had was a diamond, we had an arrangement which was if he saw hubby's car, he was to hide any deliveries or anything that looked like a credit card bill behind the bins. I'd have married that post man. Then quicker than you can say " jilted at the alter", the Royal Mail changed our guy and replaced him with a new post man who knows hubby. Life can be unnecessarily cruel on occasion.
So today, they both arrived at the same time. In an effort to sound excited about an ahem, out of character online purchase, I offered to try the dress on for him. After negotiating coming down the stairs as the dress was tighter than expected, I stood in front of him, hands on hips and flashed a smile. Now my chap, we know isn't the best at handing out compliments. I'm still smarting from my celebrity look a like - Sarah Millican comment. Today, the best he could muster up was "Love, how many dress sizes do you think you've gone up since the kids have been off school?" Fight or flight kicked in. Do I box his ears as my Grandma used to say or do I run away to the comfort of my kitchen and have a Cadbury Cry: a chocolate binge proceeded by a self loathing sob? Decisions decisions....
As you've probably guessed, my quest to get into a pair of size 12 jeans without a tub of Vaseline and a rather large shoe horn has taken a serious knock, largely down to my lack of willpower and my "Just one won't hurt" outlook.
'Sexy September' is just what I need. I have fallen in love with healthy breakfasts again thanks to seeing the fantastic photos of scrummy morning dishes. Personally, if I get my breakfast spot on, odds are I continue to eat the way I planned to throughout the rest of the day. If my breakfast choice is questionable, then it's not worth a '50 pence each way' bet; I'm going down.
So a huge thank you to those who have given me food for thought (excuse the pun) for my breakfasts. You have given me the boost, the desire, the inspiration that I need to start my clean living day. I WILL get into that dress, I WILL be able to walk up and down the stairs whilst wearing it without looking like a deranged mid life crisis woman in need of a wee and I WILL get a decent compliment from my beloved. I'm aiming for two out of three. Oh for all who are wondering if Hubby is still around to tell the tale. My legal team are happy to answer any questions on my behalf. Lots of Love xxxx
Ellen Murray: spreading hope, self-belief and empowerment to real women.