Yes, you read that correctly. I did eat a pack of 24 Kit Kats in one sitting. They were only the 2 finger ones though. Lol!
This wasn’t my finest moment but it did go down in history with my friends at Uni. I’ll tell you the story….
I was in my first year at Lancaster University, aged 18, and was living in halls. My mum had been for a visit and left me with food supplies; one of the items being the 24 pack of Kit Kats.
Now if you don’t already know this, chocolate has always been my biggest vice, my kryptonite. I would never usually buy chocolate in bulk. If i wanted it, I would always go to the shop and buy one bar because I just can’t leave it alone when I know it’s there.
Well, this day was no different. I had one Kit Kat .
‘Ahh they’re only small and 107 calories. I’ll have another and that will be like having one normal chocolate bar, like a Dairy milk.’ I told myself.
Well 2 led to 3, 3 led to 4. Before I knew it, the whole packet had gone,
Seriously, I’m not joking!!
This was across the whole evening with doing bits of studying in between (I always comfort ate when I was studying).
The next thing I was knocking on my friend’s door opposite me crying saying that I had ate a full pack of Kit Kats. She couldn’t believe it and found it hilarious!! She never let me forget that.
I never forgot it either.
It made me realise that I had a problem with chocolate. It taught me a lesson that when it comes to chocolate, I have no self control.
This was a good thing though because it just reinforced that if I want it, I have to go to the shop and buy one bar as opposed to ever having it in the house.
Let me tell you, 13 years later, I’m still the same. I never buy chocolate in, not even for Max. I just know it would be dangerous.
I know it sounds extreme but it’s all part of getting to know yourself, knowing what your vices are working around these in a way that suits you.
Everybody has some sort of vice when it comes to their diet. Some ladies tell me theirs is wine, others say it’s chocolate, crisp, cakes…whatever it is.
Don’t forget your only human, it’s pretty normal to have something that once you pop, you can’t stop.
If you know this one thing is ruining all of the hard work that you’re putting in, something has to change.
My advice would be to not surround yourself by it. Don’t have it in the house or your work place where you can easily access it.
I know this isn’t always possible.
People say that offices are the worst place because you can’t tell others not to bring that box of biscuits in. However, you can make yourself accountable to those around you and tell them that you don’t want to eat them and to keep them out of your reach.
Others say that they need to get certain things in for the kids. Do you though? Could you not get them something different that you don’t really like as much?
In my opinion, it’s better to not surround yourself with your kryptonite. It’s about finding a way to work around it.
Some people do master to have it in small portions and feel satisfied. I hold my hands up to these people, that’s amazing.
My way is just having chocolate as a treat from the shop now and again. Thankfully since being pregnant with Max, something in my hormones must have changed and I’m not quite as addicted but I still wouldn’t turn it down if it was there. Lol!
I like to challenge myself every year to give up all sweet things for lent. It works a treat and usually by the end of it, I don’t want to eat the sweet stuff again. As soon as I do, it’s back into the vicious cycle of sweet cravings.
I know others who choose to eliminate it completely. For example, Biz’s biggest vice was crisps. She could eat up to 3 packets a day when she first joined Heatone. She decided to give them up for lent one year. Then she carried it on for a year. Then she just continued and it’s now been 3 years. She knows that if she starts again, she might not be able to stop.
Elimination isn’t for everybody though but just being mindful and aware of what your vices are and coming up with a plan around this can really help.
If you can find a way where you can have things in balance and moderation, it would be great. However, we’re living in the real world, real life kicks in and things like lack of time, emotional eating, stress and hormones all play a part in bingeing.
Just remember though, you’re only human and if you do have a binge, let go of the guilt. It doesn’t get you anywhere. Move on and look at your next meal or snack as a new start. You don’t need to wait until a Monday.
If you didn’t see my 5 Mindset Tips for Forever Weight Loss, take a look on our Facebook page here…
Hope you’ve had a fab weekend. If it’s been a weekend of indulgence, hope you enjoyed it. It’s a new day today, a fresh start full of new opportunities.
Have a fab week.
P.S. The 24 Kit Kat incident is just between me and you, right? Hehe!!
How are you today? Hope you’ve had a great weekend.
I had a lovely chilled weekend catching up with my group of best friends in Derbyshire.
Today I feel totally inspired as I started the day moving….teaching the lovely 9.30 am camp at the barn.
It’s all about balance.
So, Today I want to mention the dreaded burn out, which usually arrives when things are out of balance.
I’m sure you’ve been there.
You’re doing so well and all of a sudden everything gets too much and you’ve got no energy, you lose your get up and go, you start to question yourself and you just feel you’ve got nothing in you. Then the guilt kicks in as you’re no use to anybody else then.
Let me tell you, when I first set up Heatone, I was the queen of burnout. I was so busy going 100 miles per hour sometimes teaching up to 7 classes a day and trying to do and be everything, that I would end up run down and unwell on a regular basis. Even though I was loving it, my body still sometimes had to send me a reminder to slow down.
I’m getting much better but it’s always a learning curve when you’re the type of person who likes to be on the go all the time.
I’m still learning but I see the pattern causing burnout in ladies all the time.
So today I thought I would summarise this into 5 reasons why you hit burnout so hopefully it can help you to be mindful of it in the future and you can hit pause before the burnout stage.
2. Under-Eating or Under- Nourisihing your body
Lots of ladies have been conditioned to think that eating less = weight loss. This is totally not the case, especially when you’re exercising. Your body needs that fuel to burn fat. It’s about making good choices to nourish your body. Having no carbs when you’re training isn’t a good idea….they’re not the devil! The carbs are going to speed up the results as your body becomes a fat burning machine.
3. Not Prioritising Sleep
It sounds so simple but sleep makes a HUGE DIFFERENCE. When we sleep, we heal, restore and repair. Without sleep, your body can’t repair so it becomes tired, drained and worn out. You’ll lack energy and motivation in your workouts and your day to day life. It will also increase the chances of you reaching for caffeine, sugar and processed foods. Plus you’re likely to feel less mentally balanced.
4. Too much Stress
Stress is a tough one. It’s not something we want but sometimes we feel like it’s out of our control especially if it’s a situation which we don’t have control over which is leading to the stress. However, we have to focus on what we do have control over which is how we respond to it. We have control over making time for restoration and self care. When you’re stressed, you’ll find that you’re in ‘ON’ mode all the time and never switch off. This means we’re living in our sympathetic nervous system all the time. We need to find tools which help us feel ‘OFF’ and be more in our parasympathetic nervous system. Breathing is a huge one. This may be just taking 5 minutes to stop and breathe. It may be having a bath, an early night, time for a chat with a friend, sitting cuddling your dog or doing some yoga. Something which just slows everything down.
5. Low Self Worth
We could all do with taking more time for ourselves. One of the biggest thing I see with ladies is not valuing themselves enough to say no, set boundaries and take me time. Unless you place value on yourself, nobody else will. We all need way more me time than we are taking.
If you’ve been guilty of running patterns like these above for the last 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years, it’s hard to rewire your brain to change. However, once you’re aware of the patterns that you’re doing which don’t serve you well for the happiest and healthiest you, it’s only then that you can make small changes to overcome this.
We’re all guilty of forgetting to look after ourselves at times and sometimes it is hard when life takes over. Just remember how important you are though and as I always say, it’s not selfish to fit your own oxygen mask first. In order to be and feel the best for everyone else, you need to feel the best for you.
Have a great week.
How was your weekend? Hope its was a good one!
After my first Mindset Monday email in a while last week, I was inundated with such lovely replies with members who could totally relate to the striving all the time and never feeling enough.
We’ve got some very driven ladies in Heatone who are so hard one themselves.
In fact, sending last week’s email has spurred me on to keep getting this message out there that we don’t need to be so hard on ourselves. We need to learn to show ourselves more self-love.
In one of the replies I received, a lovely Heatone member talked about how she had always judged herself as a failure through looking in the mirror and seeing bingo wings, flabby tummy, a person who wants to be liked and not judged.
Yet she’s an amazing lady, super successful, has a lovely family and just all round great person.
This upsets me that she feels like that about herself.
The thing is though, it’s so common.
So many women determine their self worth on how they look, what dress size they can get into, what a number on the scales says or how toned they are.
If they don’t fit into the category that they feel is acceptable for them, they feel like they don’t deserve to love or even like themselves.
I’m sure you can relate to that especially if your body has changed over time i.e. after kids or as you’ve got older or life has thrown something at you.
The thing is, you are worthy to love you no mater what your size, shape, number.
I’m not saying don’t strive for the body you want.
What I am saying is that if you’re not there yet or you’re not the ‘perfect’ size or ‘back to what you used to be’ it doesn't make you any less worthy of being happy in you.
This is a tough one to grasp because we’re so conditioned, especially by the media, that a certain size is acceptable.
However, all bodies are beautiful and the fact that they support you through Heatone classes is even more bloody incredible!!!
This time round in pregnancy I am embracing the body changes so much more. I’ve gained nearly 2 stone already due to living off starchy carbs and eating so often! This would usually have me in a panic but I’ve just changed my whole mindset this time.
I’ve proved to myself that when I want to focus on getting into shape I will the but as Jamie keeps reminding me, my body is going through so much change growing a baby that weight is the last thing I need to think about.
In fact, I’m proud of all these extra curves even though sometimes I feel like I’m carrying extra blubber everywhere on my body.
So to round this email off I want to ask you something….
Does your health and fitness journey come from a place of self loathing and lack or from self-love and kindness to you and your body?
Let me explain that a little…
Do you come to class because you ‘need to get rid of weight’ or because you want to be fit, healthy and it makes you feel good?
Do you eat well because otherwise you’ll pile the pounds on or need to lose them or do you do it nourish your body?
They’re both exactly the same but different ways of looking at it. One is coming from a place of lack and one comes from a place of love for you and your body.
The more things come from a place of love, the more of that you will get. I’m a big believer in the law of attraction.
The way you think about yourself and that self-talk you have in your own mind is so important and can be the difference between succeeding and achieving your goals and not succeeding.
I personally find that when I’m teaching classes or exercising I feel much more positive. All those lovely endorphins keep you more positive with all aspects of life.
Become aware of how you’re talking to your self and the thoughts you’re having about you and your body.
An example I like to use is ‘If you wouldn’t talk to your friend like that, don’t talk to yourself like that.’ You would never be so hard on a friend the way you are to yourself.
That’s all for today guys but again, if anything inn particular resonates, hit me up with a reply.
Have a great week!
It was the longest day of the year yesterday. How crazy is that?!
I don't know about you but the summer nights just make me want to be in the outdoors and enjoy nature.
As you know, I've been absolutely rubbish on the email front lately. I've been too busy with my head down the toilet or lay on the sofa. However, it's time to try and get some routine back.
What I wanted to talk to you about today is something that I'm kind of battling at the minute....the guilt of slowing down. Being pregnant, I've kind of had no choice with hyperemiesis kicking in.
Do you ever find that when you stop, you feel you should be doing something? Or if you miss class, you feel guilty? It's that feeling that you should always be on the go or you're not doing your best. It's particularly worse if you're quite a driven person.
I've certainly been feeling this way for the last few weeks. At the start of the year, when Max was 11 months old, I started to get some routine back for myself. I committed to 3 training sessions per week, started teaching a Tuesday night Bootcamp and a Wednesday Glow Fit, got my 2 office days locked in, finished my Life Coaching certification and had lots of plans with it. I started to feel really good in myself and like life was in full flow again. As you know, those of you who have got children, having them is the best thing in the world but your whole world gets turned upside down for a while.
In March, I fell pregnant again. This was amazing news for our family but life suddenly feels out of flow again. I've had to stop all my teaching commitments for the moment, do bits in the office when I can and my own exercise has flown out of the window. I have had no choice but to hit the pause button because my body just finds it exhausting being pregnant, especially being sick all the time. For the first few weeks, I did nothing but cry every day because I couldn't see me getting through the sick days. The worst part was not being able to look after Max. The guilt was killing me, plus the guilt that Jamie and our parents had to do so much more. I knew I also had loads of commitments such as a 3 Hour Glow event and a speaking event with 80 ladies. Eek! Thankfully the sickness is easing a lot compared to what it was but the biggest thing I need to focus on during pregnancy is keeping myself mentally positive. Plus I realise how lucky I am to be growing a human.
So many ladies tell me that they are Heatone members because it takes care of their overall wellbeing...mental, physical and emotional. Being around such positive ladies lifts and empowers them, the endorphins lift them mentally and they love the physical effects on their body too. I totally find this too and when I don't have this, I absolutely struggle.
Why am I telling you this?
Sometimes we all have to just press pause and slow down....without guilt.
Life is so fast paced and it's the norm for most if us to be at a million miles per hour. In fact, most of us thrive off it. I certainly do...I love being busy and feeling like I have purpose.
If you feel like you're in full flow of right now, brilliant. Keep up the good work :-)))
If you're struggling, lift the pressure off yourself and take a look round at what's in your control and put every bit of your focus into that being positive.
The stuff you can't control can wait for now. If you need time to slow down, take it.
It feels very alien to us as women to put ourselves first and just 'be.' However, as the saying goes, you can't pour from an empty cup. But why should we allow the cup to be empty before we hit the pause button?
I started back with my mindset coach again this week. A big shift for me on the call was that my focus of purpose and fulfilment needs to move now to my family as opposed to my work, which it's been for many years. When I feel up to it again, my energy will go between the two but right now, if i carry on beating myself up with the guilt of not feeling enough with my work, it doesn't help my frame of mind. Plus, family is something that is so important.
Working on a positive frame of mind is something most of us continually have to work on. It's exactly like the way we work on our body....if we don't exercise, our body and mind start to feel the effects. If you neglect your mental wellbeing, your mind and your body will feel it.
So this email is just a gentle reminder to look after your 'overall' self today. I'm sure most of you are but I do see and speak to lots of ladies who are fighting this battle inside. Just want you to know that I get it and that we all go through different ebs and flows of life, where life can be crazy and all of a sudden it can be slow.
Just remember how amazing you are and take one step at a time. Then recognise those steps and give yourself a huge pat on the back each time.
Have a great weekend.
As a busy mum, it's not always easy to make that time for you. In fact, sometimes it's like a military operation trying to get any time for yourself, never mind time to work on your health goals.
One of the biggest challenges that ladies have when they first come to us is that amongst the madness of being a busy woking mum, running a household and being a wife or partner, they believe they haven't got the TIME, ENERGY OR MENTAL SPACE for themselves. Fitting in their own exercise is just another chore to add to the everlasting list. It's a juggling act!!
Let me tell you, I totally get it. Since becoming a mummy to my gorgeous boy Max, I can relate more than ever to the plate spinning. I love being a mum more than anything in the world but I get that it's just not that simple to do what you want to when you want to when you have a little human who is totally dependent on you.
The last year has been a huge learning curve, not only about motherhood but it has taught me so much about myself and totally reinforced the whole Heatone ethos about the importance of making time for YOU.
I've learnt that I NEED to make that time for me to get my exercise in and eat well. For me, it's way more than just the physical benefits. The mental benefits are my biggest driver. It keeps me happy and balanced. This in turn makes me a better mummy to my boy and a happier wife, daughter, friend and leader.
Yes, sometimes I have to make sacrifices in other areas to fit it in but by being happier and more balanced, it makes me better in these other areas.
Exercise and a healthy lifestyle have been part of me for so long. It's a huge part of my identity. For a while, I felt I lost this part of me because all of my energy was on looking after my boy and running my business. Now I realise that just because I'm a mum, it doesn't mean I can't still have that part of my identity. It may just take a bit more juggling to fit it all in. That juggle is so worth it though.
So if you're not feeling like you right now but feel like you just don't have time for you, I would love to invite you to just press pause and think about YOU and what will make you the happiest version of you.
Would feeling fitter and healthier make you feel like you again?
If you need some help with getting back to you but don't have much time, get in touch and we can show you the way in as little as 3 hours per week.
We're all real, down to earth women who totally get how it is juggling life!
A Really honest & vulnerable sharing about how i've lost my CONFIDENCE this year and how i'm working on getting stronger
I hope you’re well and are enjoying the madness of the Christmas period.
If you’ve completely lost your mojo with your exercise and nutrition, you’re not alone. Loads of people experience this at this time of year so please don’t beat yourself up. It will return when it’s ready :-))
So today’s message to you is really to just be totally honest with you. I want to share my story with you of losing my confidence this year. In it, I will share how a series events led me to hitting breaking point recently and how I am working on getting stronger again.
I’ve been putting this email off thinking ‘They don’t need to know.Nobody will be interested anyway’ but I’ve reached a point where I feel that honesty is the only way. Plus, I know that my sharing my own struggle always helps somebody in some way.
If nobody ever took their mask off, it would be a very lonely world.
It’s also good to reflect on your year.
So here goes….it might be a long one. Grab a cuppa ;)
You may have noticed I haven’t been around much this year in the physical sense. Yes I’ve been active on FB but I haven’t been present a lot at classes. Some of you I haven’t even met yet. This makes me absolutely curl my toes as I HATE not knowing my members. Even though it’s the job of my instructors to look after our members, I still like to meet you all, even thought theres a lot of you.
However, the last 18 months have seen a lot of life changes for me personally.
It started when I found out I was pregnant last July. This was AMAZING news for Jamie and I and we were beyond over the moon. However, the week after I found out, I was struck with hyperemisis….severe sickness. I had no choice but to step back from all the things I loved….teaching Glow Fit, being present at our different Bootcamp locations, sharing blogs/posts/emails to help women realise their potential and just generally being that person who inspires people on their journey. Although it got better throughout pregnancy, I was sick every day and had to take a real step back. Looking back, I probably had a bit of depression whilst pregnant. In one sense I was beyond grateful to be pregnant but I felt I totally lost me because of the sickness.
I soon realised that I would have to relish some control of running my business (my baby) when my actual baby arrived. I signed off work on Friday 27th Jan to give myself a month to ensure everything would run smoothly without me. However, my little Max arrived the following morning by emergency c-section….4 weeks and 2 days early. No rest for the wicked, hey?!! Although this was amazing, I probably didn’t realise the effect it had on me mentally as I didn’t have that switch off time to hand everything over fully or the mental time to prepare for his arrival.
I remember being in the office when he was just 5 days old working on spreadsheets. My brain was foggy with lack of sleep and the shock of him arriving, never mind struggling to even get around after having a c-section. Then I was straight back to our weekly team meetings and after a few weeks I was back in the office at least one day per week. Then this slowly built up. Even though I wasn’t at classes, I was still in full control of the running of the business.
I just didn’t give myself that permission to take the time off. It’s really bloody hard to give up control when you’ve put your heart and soul into building something that you’re so protective over. Looking back now, this has been a huge contribution to me totally losing myself. Being a new mum (which is 100% a full-time job in itself) and trying to still be in full control of running a business this size….let’s be realistic, it was never going to last long without me crumbling at some point.
After 12 weeks, I started to get back into my own exercise having 2 personal training sessions per week and getting back to Glow Fit. Luckily, I healed really well from the c-section. I felt a bit of the old me returning and felt pretty confident that I had got this!! I was LOVING being a mum. It came to me like the most natural thing in the world. Plus I felt fantastic compared to when I was pregnant. Being able to eat again was like….heaven! Lol! I felt I had quite a good balance of work and being a mummy, even though I would have liked to have taken a bit more time off.
Then when Max was just 5 months old, I got appendicitis out of the blue and had my appendix removed. Surprisingly, I took this with a pinch of salt and was back teaching bootcamp just 10 days later. Very silly decision!
I soon realised that my mind was willing but my body wasn’t. It was only after talking to a midwife (one of our members) that I even realised that my muscles had been cut open twice in the same area so I was back to square one with my recovery and was going to be out physically for at least another 12 weeks.
It was at this point that something kind of happened in my brain. It was like everything that I had experienced just got too much…..a tough pregnancy, Max arriving early, a C-section, going straight back to work and controlling everything, having my appendix out and then being out of action again.
Me being me and trying to always be positive and grateful, I realise that I never gave myself any credit for what I had been through over the previous year. Plus the best thing that had ever happened to me came along….Max being born. So I felt i had no right to complain. I kept thinking that people go through so much worse and that I was a bad person for even admitting that actually it was quite a lot to go through.
It was around September, 2 months after my appendix surgery, that I noticed a change in myself. I was constantly crying. I felt that I was no use to anybody within my work because I couldn’t physically be there, I resented doing the jobs that running a business requires because it wasn’t the stuff I enjoyed, I completely let myself go with my nutrition and I basically stopped doing anything that was for me. I cut myself off from people.
I got depressed.
Everything that I have preached to other ladies and have practised myself for the last 6 years, I just stopped doing. I felt lost.
I started to focus on the pressure of running a business which I had previously taken in my stride. I started to think that all my members thinks I don’t care because I couldn’t be at classes and couldn’t give anything of myself to them. I worried that they would be judging me thinking I’m just interested in running a business and not what we actually do…change lives. That couldn’t be more wrong. Changing lives is in my heart and soul and it hurts me to not be out there making a difference. However, I felt no use to anybody.
I didn’t have the mental space to even consider getting some light exercise and a healthy diet for myself.
I felt that I didn’t even know who I was any more. If I wasn’t ‘posiitve, happy, active, healthy lifestyle Ellen’ then who was I?
I lost all confidence in me.
Then I felt like a huge hypocrite….how can I preach about prioritising you, eating well and exercising when I wasn’t able to do anything myself?
The negative, irrational self talk has been crazy. Some days, I would think I was losing my mind.
Then I would feel guilty because I have my gorgeous boy Max who brings so much joy into our lives.
When people say becoming a parent totally turns your life on it’s head, they’re not wrong. For me it’s brought so much fulfilment to my life but has made me really reassess what’s important to me.
I knew I had to do something about it when Jamie said to me ‘I don’t want anything for Christmas, just want my wife to be happy again.’ It was said in a loving way but that really hit home that I HAD to change.
Having previously suffered OCD and depression through my teens and into my early twenties, I have been really reluctant to go down the anti-depressant route. I’ve been trying homeopathy, a more herbal remedy.
Over the last 2 months I’ve been doing some real soul searching and work on my mind. I’ve invested in a life coach to help me work on who I am again, what I want and learn to love me again.
In the last few weeks, clarity has suddenly arrived.
I’ve realised that I’ve ended up like this because I forgot to look after myself first.
As women, it’s built in to us to look after everything and everybody else first. We do it why even realising. We consider other’s needs before we make a decision on what will serve us.
I find myself agreeing to things sometimes without even thinking if I know it will help somebody else. It’s like word vomit spilling out of my mouth. Lol!!
Being a mum now, I ALWAYS consider Max’s needs first and I doubt that will ever change. I don’t want it to change.
However, I have learnt that I need certain ingredients in each week to make my happy ‘recipe.’
For me these include:
Quality time with Max and Jamie
Being in the outdoors
Connection to others
Music and dance
A healthy diet
Enough sleep- this can be a challenging one at the minute ;)
If I don’t get these, I know that I’m not going to lose the connection to myself and I won’t have enough to give to others.
I’ve also been working on realising that I’m enough just as a mummy right now. I don’t have to be more. When I’m ready to give to others I will but in the meantime, I need to stop putting the pressure on myself.
If you stop and think, what areas are you putting pressure on yourself at the minute that aren’t really serving you?
I’m a real believer in the universe working and I think this experience has been sent to me 1. to help me truly appreciate what I’ve got and 2. To help be able to help others on a deeper level in the future. In fact, it’s prompted me to complete my Life Coaching certification next year. By February, I will be fully qualified Life Coach. I’m unsure exactly how I will use this yet but I know that even doing the course is going to help me personally in so many ways. It’s all part of the healing process.
In today’s society, so many people try to portray that everything is amazing, especially with their social media lives, when in fact so many of us are paddling so fast under the water trying to keep our heads above water.
I really want to help women to realise that it’s ok not to be ok. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure if you admit to struggling. It’s probably just that you’ve lost connection with yourself and have stopped doing your ‘recipe’ that makes you happy or the circumstances around you are having an impact on the way you think.
We must practise kindness to ourselves.
A huge thank you for reading this. You wouldn’t believe that it’s taken me about 3 weeks to actually write this and send it out. The intention of this email was for two things really:
Have a wonderful Christmas and PLEASE do not stress about kicking back and relaxing with your family and indulging in a few mince pies and some Baileys. If you can’t do it at Christmas when can you do it? Just relax and be present with your loved ones. Yes, that means keeping off your phones sometimes….honestly it’s fantastic when you give yourself the permission to!!
Lots of love,
Last week I was a little slow on my emails.
I had a week where I was just so busy doing other things and to be honest I didn't get round to it.
When I send out my emails I want to ensure I have something positive, meaningful and helpful to say...
Otherwise what's the point?
I don't agree in just emailing for emailing sake.
So today I wanted to talk about kicking back, relaxing and having some down time.
As women, we are always expected to be on the go.
Keeping a nice house.
Looking after others.
And I agree these things are important.
But sometimes it can feel we are spinning a million plates trying to keep everything going.
Have you ever had that feeling?
I certainly have felt the pressure in the last few weeks.
January is always a busy time for us.
Whilst everybody is relaxing over christmas, that's the time where I am in my office from morning to night most days.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it all.
However, We all need to relax.
Kick back and have some down time.
January has been a very busy time for us but it has also been a time where I have made a conscious effort to do things for me.
I went on a little spa break the other week,
Last weekend was Alton towers Fit Jam with the Bootcampers.
This weekend I was in Sheffield for a night out with my uni friends.
And I completely kicked back, relaxed, had fun and danced all night.
And I loved it.
Time away with friends,
Just kicking back living life.
Not worrying about little things.
Its easy to get caught up and think you haven't got the time.
There's always other things that need doing.
So many of us can forget that its also about enjoying life and enjoying the journey.
The point I want to make is this,
Down time is productive time.
Creating space where you switch your mind off is so important.
When we're busy, we often ADD MORE to our lives without realising.
When in fact, we need to create more space.
Having regular down time will probably be one of the most productive things you do.
Do something you enjoy with those people you love spending your time with.
Kick back, have fun and re-charge the batteries.
Have a wonderful week.
It's arrived....the week of the Big Man dropping down our chimneys! Are you all set?
At this time of year, I always take time to reflect on the year and think about the New Year coming.
So...I would like to share my reflection of 2015 with you and what I've learned:
1. You can achieve anything you put your mind to
At the start if this year, I created a hit programme known as Glow Fit which has become well recognised and is on it's way to becoming endorsed as an Instructor Training course. How did I do it? I used my skill set and put it into something I love. I've also continued to power my energy into helping people to transform their mind, body and lifestyle through our Bootcamp programme- growing the team, helping more people. Following the heart always leads you to the right path and believing in yourself will help you to get there.
2. People, love and connection are what make the world go round
I was lucky enough to marry the man I love in July this year. I was surrounded by people I love and care for. It was the best day of my life and I hold so many amazing memories from it. Always surround yourself with those who you love not because you need them but because they enhance your life.
3. It's ok to invest in YOU
You may or may not know this (lol) but I spent 3 weeks in Thailand, 10 days of which were spent on a Guru course which involved getting to know me, who I am, what my values are, what my gift is. It wasn't cheap, easy or quick but I'm a true believer that in order to value you something there needs to be a decent investment of time, money, energy and emotion. I would always question if it was ok to spend that on myself but it was very much a life changing experience. I'm so excited to bring what I've learned to others.
4. Experiences are far more valuable than possessions
On of my big goals is to see the world. This year I've been to Morocco, LA, New York, Hawaii, San Fransico and Thailand. It made me realise I want more of THIS. Big houses and flash cars are nice but I would rather be able to see cool places. I'm even tailoring some of my work around it next year...Thailand retreat ;)
5. The way you view the world affects how you see and experience it
I didn't used to say this about myself but I guess I've always been quite positive. I AWAYS see the best in everybody and believe everybody has potential. Having this view enables me to create connections with people. Having a positive outlook helps me to achieve the things I want to achieve. However, I have had phases where I've experienced negative thoughts and I've learned that it impacts my view on everything. If I turn this around to see the positive, everything changes. It's something I have to work on every single day.
6. Look after yourself and you will sparkle
I always tell people to look after themselves and I try to practice this myself- eat well, exercise, sleep, make time for things I love. I know I feel great when I do it but at times, I don't. I'm human. I let my nutrition go, put other things first. It impacts everything when you don't look after yourself- health, mood, energy levels, skin, social life, confidence.
7. It's ok to have dreams and dream BIG
It's almost like we shouldn't want the best for ourselves, like it's arrogant. Why shouldn't we want happiness? It's a limiting belief that we don't deserve it. There's only YOU in charge of creating your dream life. YOU are the only one stopping it from happening. That's quite a scary thought and I must admit it freaks me out a little but it make sense. I like to refer to it as building your sandcastle. It's YOUR sandcastle. Just because it's a dream, it doesn't mean we have to make it our reality straight away. We just need to be constantly making steps towards it in everything we do.
8. Not everybody will want you to have your dream
Not everybody will be happy that you are able to have a dream. Not everybody likes seeing you be happy, successful, healthy or whatever it is. I've learned that that is a reflection on them NOT on you. If what you do is right for you and sits well with your values and comes from a place of goodness, nobody can question it. If you are a person who wants to be liked, it can be quite hard but remember it's YOUR life. It's YOUR sandcastle. They have their own sandcastle to build.
9. Stepping out of your comfort zone helps you to grow as a person
As an entrepreneur, I always put such pressure on myself to keep growing as a person and a business. Sometimes it means stepping out of my comfort zone. Going on a path where not many others nearby have been. This can be scary but if you don't try it, you never know. I'm finding this recently whereby I'm moving in to not just being a fitness and nutritional expert but a coach. I worry will I be good enough, what will people think, shall I stick to what I know? Everything you do is new at some point but it soon becomes the norm. I remember back to teaching my first ever fitness class. Was I nervous? Yes!! If I hadn't pushed myself out of that comfort zone, I wouldn't have helped so many women to change their lives.
10. Having fun is so important
I'm quite a thinker. Sometimes, overthinking isn 't too healthy. However, laughter and fun can change everything. I'm one of those people who laughs at naff jokes. I love to laugh and smile. I've never laughed a much as I did on my Day 10 Guru retreat in Thailand. I laugh every day at my funny husband. What's the point in taking life so seriously? Even when you feel like things are bleak, laughter can help!
11. Never stop being true to who you are
We are constantly growing and changing. I'm different to who I was 10 years ago. In fact, I'm different to who I was when I started Heatone Fitness. Fitness and exercise was always my focus but now I am also passionate about the power of the mind in helping people to achieve their goals alongside fitness and exercise. I'm still the same person. I still want to help people. In recent months, I've experienced some people who have misunderstood this or haven't related to it. However, the people who relate to the place where it comes from really relate to it. They are the ones who take my focus. It's all a journey and every day, I get more comfortable and confident with who I am. Don't allow others to drag you away from being YOU.
How has 2015 been for you?
What have the positives been?
I would love to hear your reflection.
Lots of love,
DaDid you see this post which I shared on Facebook last night?
A lady called Aimee Holland posted it and wow, it made me stop and read.
It's raw, open and honest.
Take a little read:
Dear Personal Trainer,
I know I'm fat again.
I know I should be in the gym 3/4 times a week.
I know I should be eating healthy food. I know it's all in my head.I know it's me that needs to change.
But I need you to know some stuff too.
Showing me your chiselled abs just makes me feel even more shit about myself.
Posting pictures about your super efficient meal prep when I struggle to put together one healthy meal overwhelms me.
Videos of your PB or insane training routine make me want to run for the hills.
You confuse the shit out of me with all the conflicting advice around 'nutrition' carb loading, meal timings, macros and I still haven't a clue if I should eat carbs or not.
I need you.
I need you to show me you get it.
I need you to reach out and tell me it's going to be ok.
I need you to understand that it's not easy for me.
I need you to make this really, really simple.
I need you to hold my hand one step at a time.
I need you to meet me where I'm at.
I don't care about your qualifications.
I don't care about your superior knowledge.
I don't care why your way is so much better.
I just care about me.
I want to feel amazing naked.
I want to be fit enough to keep up with him ;)
I want to shop for clothes without choosing stuff that hides my fat.
I want to live my life again without feeling like a failure every single day.
I want to turn heads and show off my amazing figure.
I want to wear a bikini.
Show up in my world and let me see that you understand.
Tell me about the clients you have helped just like me.
Give me baby steps.
Don't judge me because I'm not like you.
Give me the confidence to trust you with my life.
Tell me that you've got this, that you'll keep me on track, that you won't accept my shitty excuses for missing a session.
Teach me how to value myself like you do.
I can learn any exercise I want from YouTube.
What I need from you is accountability.
What I need from you is clarity.
What I need from you is a cheerleader.
'That 30 something mum you're chasing with your advertising'
P.S. If you really understand me and I really trust you I'll pay all the money in the word for you.
How did that make you feel?
Have you ever felt like that?
You can feel like it's only you experiencing the above.
One of the biggest fears most of our members have before they join is that nobody will get their struggles.
Everyone will be super fit.
The trainers won't understand.
That they're the only ones experiencing all these thoughts and feelings.
This is the biggest reason that I try to show the real me.
That I'm just like you.
I've been there.
I show the Ellen who has struggled with her weight in the past,
who struggles to be 'on it' all the time,
has that constant battle to stay in shape,
the emotions involved,
real life getting in the way...
I've been there.
I still go there sometimes.
I am constantly working on valuing me and what's inside, not just the outside.
Pretending to be somebody I'm not would mean I don't help the people I want and need to help.
It wouldn't help those people above....the Dear Personal Trainer people.
They would be put off.
None of us are super human.
So, why should we pretend to be?
In my eyes, having somebody who relates to your struggles is far more important.
Somebody who gets you.
Knowing somebody has your back.
Support, non-judgment and understanding.
Not just abs and fitness qualifications.
INSPIRATION OVER MOTIVATION.
Have a wonderful weekend.
It can be especially tough to eat well at this time of year, especially with the amount of chocolate floating around the office and those Terry's Chocolate Oranges in the supermarkets for £1. Lethal!!
It's the time of year when the pressure is on to get into a nice dress.
Or maybe you struggle the full year round? Find it a constant battle, starting off with good intentions then you eat one 'wrong' thing and it just spirals into a full day, week, month of eating anything and everything. This then leads to feelings of 'out of controlness' and guilt.
Let me tell you, you are definitely not abnormal with your relationship with food. You have the knowledge of how to eat well but that isn't always enough to keep us on track. I can completely relate to you with this.
As humans, we are taught to eat as a form of comfort, celebration and social events which in turn means we are conditioned to eat when we're happy, sad, upset, stressed and we do this without even thinking about it sometimes.
This can sometime lead to us struggling with our food and feeling out of control, gaining weight, not feeling sure of how to stop it.
There a few different approaches that may help with this. They all have to be continually practised day in, day out for them to become a new pattern of behaviour/thought process:
1. Think of food as fuel, not as a reward or something to be savoured- I personally am not a fan of this approach as I believe food is something we should enjoy and be thankful for. It works for some people though.
2. Write down your reasons for NOT wanting to eat rubbish. Look at them each day and read them out. I know it sounds a bit crazy but it will bring it to your conscious mind and make you more aware. Try not to just think of aesthetics. Think about your health, your moods, skin, energy levels.
3. Before buying/eating chocolate or anything else which is going to make you spiral, take a few deep breaths and think about it. Not only that, time yourself 15 minutes and think about why you're about to eat it. Is it because you really want it? Is it because you're happy, sad, stressed or are you genuinely hungry? It would be really useful if you could keep a diary of this. Every time you do eat something that you know you don't really need or you are really tempted, write down the following:
What am I doing?
How do I feel?
Why am I eating this?
When did I last eat?
What time is it?
This may give you a little pattern of when you do it and why.
Just a few ideas.
Remember though, it doesn't define who you are.
Don't let it define you.
Having a good diet and looking after yourself comes down to valuing yourself. Try to value yourself enough to care of being the best version of you.
When you feel good on the inside, this will naturally transpire to the outside.
Have a great week.
P.S. If you are interested in a 15 minute consultation slot with me to discuss where you're currently at and where you would like to be, drop me a message and we will arrange it :)
Ellen Murray: spreading hope, self-belief and empowerment to real women.